Last night we went out to dinner with a friend and half way into our evening we launched into a very interesting conversation and it made me realize how often we define ourselves as people by our every action.

Our friend, Wade, who is a golf-pro was telling us about how so many golfers define themselves as human beings by the way they play golf. So much so that golf starts ruling their world and becomes the mode by which they measure their own self-worth.

Now, there is something wrong with this picture...

So you mean to say, that if he (the golfer) had a bad golf game, suddenly - in his mind - he is a disappointment as a father and an employee and a husband? Wade answered said: "Yes"

This made me think about how often we beat ourselves down when we do something "wrong" or not quite as well as we would've liked to. Right there and then you equate the person that you are with this one failure.

Vanessa, It is very important to remember that you are NOT your mistakes. That moment in time where you stumbled, or ate that slice of cake that you felt you shouldn't have, or you disappointed your boss or your partner - that is simply a moment in your life. It is a fleeting moment that passes and you can decide to make a different choice next time.

That moment in time, that one failure does not define who you are as a whole... as a person.

You need to be able to compartmentalize and you have to know that you can either learn from that experience or you need to discard it and move on... you have to know that you are much more than that one mistake or failure and that you can do better next time.

In the Pizzazz Factor I explain to you how important it is to maintain a positive self-image in order to live your life to your fullest potential, and this is really one key element in that quest. The quest to see your self in the best way possible.

We are so quick to limit ourselves by clinging on to those little mistakes we make in life, or those disappointments we experience or those failures we have.

Instead you should simply learn from those and keep in mind all the times you did succeed and you did impress.

Those are the moments you want to imprint into your consciousness. Why must we ponder so much on the negative.... every moment is a new one, where you can continue to improve and be better.

Don't let one bad golf game, or one piece of cake, or one bad performance, or one not so good report define who you are as a person.

Remember - YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES!

Kind regards

Vanessa Bader

P.S. In order to have that unmistakable poise and presence at all times, to be radiant and exude energy, you have to maintain a positive self-image. You need to believe in yourself as a person. So don't define yourself by those fleeting moments of weakness, but rather reinforce in your mind your moments of strength and success. That way you will maintain your Pizzazz Factor and constantly be in a mode of success!

Your beauty doesn't lay only in the way you dress and the way you wear your hair or how perfect your nose or your body is. Believe me, I love to dress up and to take care of my body - look the best I can... that is important, it projects self-respect and self-love.

But "the clothes do not make the man". You need to remember that you are attractive and charming because of your inner radiance.

The way you treat others and the joy you find in life - in the little things - that is what makes you shine.

The way you react towards others and towards life; that is what brings out the real beauty in you.

To give and to love unconditionally is to be beautiful.

To be helpful and gracious is to be beautiful

To find the joy in every days tasks and chores, that is what makes you beautiful...

Your smile that radiates from your heart and that projects true happiness, love and contentment - that is beautiful.

The way you "feel" about yourself is what projects to others - that is what they see - If you feel self-confident and you feel attractive, then you will be attractive

Self-respect and Self-confidence - that is what is beautiful about you.

The way you walk, talk and act speaks volumes about you as a person. If you walk with confidence, speak with conviction and feel confident in who you are as a person, then you will radiate, you will stand out in the crowd and make great first impressions.

The Pizzazz Factor shows you how to find your inner self-confidence, how to truly bring out your inner beauty by knowing how to make your confidence and radiance translate into your body language.

When your body language and posture is not congruent with the way you feel, you might not be projecting your own beauty as effectively as you could. But if you know how to use your body language, posture and facial expressions to project your magnetic presence, charisma and poise, then you have true Pizzazz!

When you look and feel secure and sure about the way you act - about the image you project to others... when you can stop worrying about how it is that others perceive you - then you can feel truly self-confident and find the joy in the small things in life.

That joy and carefree-ness... the self-confidence in who you are... that is why you are beautiful.

Kind regards

Vanessa Bader

P.S. Through improving your Body Language skills and your posture, you will be able to project and radiate your inner beauty more successfully - share your true inner beauty with the world!