How to attract the attention of someone you are interested in
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Do you already have that special person in your life... the one person you want to share your love with now and forever?
Maybe you are still out there looking. What are the body language signals you can send out to attract the love of your dreams?
(These body language signals I am sharing with you are very helpful to attract someone new that you are interested in, but if you are already in a relationship, you can also use these signals to seduce a long-time love and put that spark back in your relationship...)
There are many little different things that can make all the difference when you are out and about on the town wanting to attract someone special. Even the way you sit and stand can affect the way you are being perceived. Do you tend to cluster together with your close friends when you are at a nightclub or cocktail party? You might cast fleeting glances in the direction of someone you are interested in, but why is he or she not getting the message?
If you are open to meeting someone of the opposite sex, then here are a few subtle body language signals you can use to make sure the message gets across that you are looking and available:
1) If you are standing at a bar for instance – keep your back to the bar. That way you are more approachable because you are projecting an ‘open’ image, an image that says “I am open to meeting new and interesting people.”
When you are facing the bar, you have your back to the world and no one is going to notice you there... you are almost ‘closing’ yourself off to everyone behind you.
2) It is fine to stand next to a friend, but keep your eyes towards the club or crowd. Once again, if you stand chatting to your friend and your eyes are only on him or her, you can’t possibly attract the attention of anyone else by making eye contact and you seem engulfed in your own world to others.
3) Not only do you want to keep your eyes towards the room but you also want to actually point your body towards the middle of the club or dance floor or where the ‘action’ is.
That way you are making yourself accessible to who ever is out there, and you can be in a prime spot to make sure you don’t miss anything or.... any one:) You want to make sure that when the ‘right one’ comes along, you are in their right line of sight...
4) You can also slowly move around the room. It is not always the best strategy to stand still in one spot. The energy of movement attracts more attention.
5) It is always a good thing to have a pleasant, happy expression on your face. That makes you more attractive and more approachable. People are attracted to other happy people. Speak in the direction of the crowd and it can never hurt to laugh a lot! If you are having a good time, then others know that they will be able to have a good time with you.
6) If there is a window in the room, it is a good idea to stand near the window. People naturally tend to look out windows and gravitate towards them. So if you want to make sure you get noticed, right near a window would be a prime spot.
7) One of the biggest keys in capturing anyone’s attention is eye contact. If you can establish eye contact with someone, you are already communicating on a more personal level and you let that person know that you are noticing him or her... and you know that they have noticed you. But make sure that when you establish eye contact that it is in fact with someone you find interesting because especially prolonged eye contact is a very clear signal of interest.
8) Once you have established eye contact for a couple of seconds, or maybe multiple times for even just a moment... if you want to signal that you are in fact very interested in meeting, you can look directly at that person’s lips. Looking directly at someone’s lips can be very seductive and a sure sign that you are interested in making their acquaintance on a more ‘intimate’ or ‘romantic’ level.
In any situation, your body language speak volumes, so if you want to make sure you are being noticed by the opposite sex, then allow your energy and enthusiasm to shine through the moment you walk in the room. Whether it is a nightclub, a restaurant, a cocktail party or a conference room, if there is someone there that you want to impress, then walk in with the right attitude – with Pizzazz, then you can be sure to make an eye-catching first impression from the word go.
Vanessa Bader Performs on stages all around the world as a dancer, singer and actress. She is a seasoned Pilates instructor as well as an Aesthetician, Cosmetologist and Massage therapist. She is the Creator and Teacher of The Pizzazz Factor® and the Hot Burning Body™ workout System. With the Pizzazz Factor® Vanessa teaches people from all walks of life how to project radiance and magnetic presence, maintain great posture and poise at all times.
I still remember the smell of that audition room… musty and slightly sweet. It feels like it was yesterday when I went for my first professional audition. The producer had flown out here to the tip of Africa all the way from the United States to come and find the right performers to play the parts in what was going to be the biggest production of the year.
This was huge – not something that happened very often so you can be sure that every performer in South Africa was there and wanted to be part of this show.
I was still green, straight out of College. As a matter of fact, I was still busy with my finals. I can remember as clear as day how emotional and nervous I was – this was going to be my big break.
But how do I sell myself to these judges? There were almost 400 seasoned professionals auditioning and only a hand full of parts for the taking. How do I get them to notice me?...
Why is it that when certain people walk into a room you can’t help but notice them right away? You just have to look … and stare. Is it his good looks or his Armani suit? Maybe it was her Prada shoes or her Versace dress.
I guarantee you it has very little to do with the clothes he is wearing or her hairstyle…
We get brainwashed into believing that these people are just born like that – with that stunning flair and magnetic presence. That “special something” that sets them apart from the rest. That “It” factor that is the illusive something we can’t quite put our finger on. Most celebrities have it; most successful people have it… that certain kind of Pizzazz.
The thing is that you also have the ability to be noticed and to make astonishing first impressions… regardless of the shape of your body or how expensive your outfit was.
Don’t think you need to be born with it or that it is only reserved for the rich and the famous. Believe me… the majority of people that has this “presence” is very aware of it and constantly works at it.
We are vibrational beings and we transmit waves of energy all the time. Some of us project energy at higher frequencies than others. These are the vibrations that people pick up and notice about you within the first few moments of meeting you. Before you have even had an opportunity to say something, the chances are good that the other person already made some sort of assessment about you. He or she already got a first impression within seconds of seeing you.
You have total control over the impressions you make.
There are a few small secrets to having this presence, this pizzazz!
Awareness
Self-awareness of the way you present yourself is the first and the most important secret to taking the steps towards making great first impressions and being sure you linger in their minds long after you left. An acute awareness of your posture and your body language is what is going to make all the difference.
Posture
Great posture goes a long way. Your posture; the way you hold your body can dictate how you are going to be perceived by others. It is true that our posture is often influenced by our emotions. In other words, if you are feeling intimidated or shy, you might drop your chin, hunch your shoulders forward and avoid eye contact. This would be a dead giveaway that you are not feeling comfortable and chances are that others will feel just as uncomfortable in your presence.
The posture of a self-confident, poised person is upright and proud, chin lifted, chest open and quite often a smile. This is the person that is going to get noticed right away.
The truth is that even when you are feeling slightly intimidated, if you can master the posture of someone who is feeling self-assured and in control, you can use this posture and you will immediately start looking and feeling more confident. In other words… you can affect your mood or emotions by simply changing your posture.
Spend a few minutes in front of the mirror and make yourself aware of what this great, self-confident posture looks and feels like.
Intention
Once you are aware that you have the power to use your posture to position yourself as a more self-confident person, all you need is to actually have the intention for others to see you that way. You have to make a decision that you want to make an impressive entrance and leave everyone wondering, “who is this person?” Once you have the intention, your body will find it easy to turn on that unmistakable poise, presence and posture that you practiced in front of the mirror before.
Graciousness
Life has become a rat race and we get caught up in our own heads not paying much attention to those people around us. One of the greatest secrets to being remembered in a positive light is to be gracious. We so often get into the habit of asking, “how are you?” but how often do we pay attention to the answer?
How often do you pay someone a compliment or just simply extend a friendly smile?
By being sincerely interested in the other person, by greeting and smiling in a genuinely friendly way… you can be sure to get noticed and remembered.
Eye contact
How often have you gone on a date or sat in a meeting where you felt like you were not included in the conversation… or the other person is simply distracted and not interested.
By maintaining eye contact with the person you are conversing with, you give them the feeling that you are totally engaged and interested. They will immediately feel important and included.
If you are talking to a group, make sure to make eye contact with every single person there if possible, because you will make them feel included and significant.
This also establishes that you are confident and in control of the conversation.
Sincerity
Now remember, you can do all this – have the self-awareness, the great posture, the right intention, be gracious and maintain eye contact, but if there is no real sincerity behind your actions… people will look right through you.
But by practicing these principals, by utilizing these few guidelines, you will definitely be noticed and remembered. It doesn’t cost anything and once you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin with your new posture, poise and presence you will be remembered as someone with that “special something” – Pizzazz!
